What do you do when you feel anxious
When cheap dopamine can’t cure your anxiety.
When you want to run away and hide from the world.
What do you do when:
You’re having vacation withdrawals (yes, this is a real thing)
Everything seems boring.
There’s nothing to focus on.
The ability to focus is hard.
Staying in the house makes it hard to keep focus.
Some people simply resort to:
Smoking weed
Drinking alcohol
Doing other drugs
Drinking gallons of coffee
Working harder than ever before
Running to clear their mind
Writing to empty their thoughts
There are plenty of things you can do to battle your anxiety.
But what’s the benefit of overcoming your anxiety?
More clarity
Peace of mind
Better communication
Happier relationships
An optimistic outlook on life
All that sounds good, but what does it look like to experience anxiety and overcome it?
Here’s my personal story (today).
My Personal experience.
I ran a 200-mile race this past weekend called the Texas Independence Relay.
I was around a bunch of guys (and we all had a purpose).
Every man was on a mission to run for the next man.
When the race was over, I celebrated with my teammates, mom, brother, and girlfriend.
I went out to eat after the race and had a good time.
But two days later, I’m experiencing withdrawals from the experience.
I was on such a dopamine high.
I had:
A goal
Teammates
People to suffer with
People to laugh with
A bond to share
And then… Just like that… it was over.
And now that I’m back home, I don’t feel the same excitement.
Today was silent.
It’s like time stood still.
There was nothing to do.
Well… Nothing as exciting as the race I just finished.
It seemed like there was no purpose for me.
Even though I know it’s only temporary, I felt anxious today.
Like I needed to be doing something productive.
So here’s what I did:
I went on a walk
No phone
No headphones
Just pure nature
I reviewed my day
I thought about all my actions today (March 26, 2024).
What did I eat for breakfast?
What was I consuming mentally?
TikTok?
The News?
Music?
Conversations?
How stimulating was my morning?
Was I doing something productive toward my goal?
Was I writing?
Reading the Bible?
Meditating?
Praying?
Learning something new?
I thought about life.
As I was walking, I decided to take a seat on the sidewalk.
I sat down on the sidewalk and observed nature.
I contemplated the meaning of “productivity.”
I thought about all the gurus I’ve been listening to recently.
What were they saying that resonated with me?
Were they right?
Why should I be listening to a stranger anyway?
What do they know about life that the Bible can’t teach me?
What makes them so special?
Money?
Viewers?
Respect?
I examined the thoughts I was having.
Is any of this real?
What’s so important about achievement?
What’s the purpose of what I’m doing?
Why do I have a purpose?
What’s the point of “helping” other people?
Why do I want my life to be worth anything?
What’s the point of it all?
None of these questions were asked with a negative perception.
I was simply asking myself these questions.
I want the truth.
While I didn’t get all the answers, I did come to a conclusion.
Here’s what I realized.
There’s only one thing I want.
I want to be liked for who I am.
Not in the sense that I care if people like me or not.
That’s something different.
Caring about being liked and wanting to be liked are two different things.
I don’t care if people like me.
But I do want to BE the type of person who is liked by people.
I’ll break that down a bit.
As you walk through life, you have a character.
Imagine you’re in a video game.
You have specific things about the character in this game.
Let’s write down a few specific things about your character.
Your character is:
Nice
Kind
Giving
Sharing
A Great Listener
An Observer of Emotions
Emotionally Aware
Empathetic
Passionate about things that excite you
Adventurous
Loving
Patient
Disciplined
Focused
Supportive
Fun
Happy
Those are all things that you can control about your character.
If that’s your character, people will naturally like you.
You’ll pull the right people into your circle.
There will also be people who don’t like you.
Some people’s character will be the opposite of yours.
And they will despise you for it.
It’s not about caring if everyone likes you.
It’s about being the type of person who is capable of being liked.
At the end of the day, are you someone that other people can say good things about?
Can you say good things about yourself?
Are you happy with your life?
Or do you sit and think about every little thing you’ve done wrong?
Do you dwell on the negatives?
Or do you see the light and inspire hope in yourself and others?
Are you consuming things that uplift you?
Do you like yourself?
Do other people like who you are?
Are you someone that people want to be around?
Do you bring energy to the room you’re in?
Do people feel better because you’re around?
That’s what you should care about
So often, I hear people say things like:
“I don’t care if people like me. As long as they respect me.”
That’s fine.
You can still respect yourself and set boundaries for how people treat you.
Being likable isn’t about being a pushover.
It’s about YOUR character.
It’s about what YOU can control about your behavior.
How does your character walk around in the video game?
Being respected will come if people like you.
There will always be people who won’t respect you.
You’re not living life for the people who respect or disrespect you.
If you’re doing ANYTHING in life to earn respect, then are you working for yourself or the approval of other people?
There’s a Proverb from Solomon that I admire:
“Whoever has no rule over his own spirit is like a city broken down, without walls” - Proverbs 25:28
The discipline that you have isn’t designed to prove other people wrong.
Discipline is meant for you to rule over YOURSELF.
Stop living for other people’s respect.
Because at the end of the day, even when you say:
“I don’t care if people like me as long as they respect me.”
That means you’re still living for the approval of someone else.
Live your life in a way that allows people to genuinely like you for who you are.
Not for what you’ve accomplished.
Not for the accolades you’ve won.
Because when it’s all said and done...
Respect and honor come to the person who exercises self-control over their own spirit.
Respect and honor come to the person who is:
Nice
Kind
Giving
Sharing
A Great Listener
An Observer of Emotions
Emotionally Aware
Empathetic
Passionate about things that excite you
Adventurous
Loving
Patient
Disciplined
Focused
Supportive
Fun
Happy
If you don’t have that, people will forget about you the moment you die.
And even then, it’s still not about the people.
It’s about who you are being.
Who you’re being is the only thing you can control.
You only get one life.
Live it.
Don’t live it for other people’s respect.
Live your life in such a way that people enjoy who you are.
Be the person that people want to be around.
Bring life to the party.
Bring life to the monotonous.
Enjoy the little moments.
Embrace the withdrawals.
Be grateful that you don’t have anything going on.
Go outside for a walk and watch the birds fly around.
Sit down on the sidewalk and look at the ripples in the water.
You don’t need to do anything in life besides enjoy it.
There’s nothing you HAVE to get done.
Caveat if you’re a Christian - We are called to speak the gosepl to all the world.But even as a Christian, the burden is easy and the yolk is light.
God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit will take care of us.
There’s no need to worry.
You can simply be - and you’ll still live a good life.
Enjoy the present moment.
That’s what I learned today.
That’s how I cured my anxiety.
PS - Writing this also helped.
I recommend writing to get the thoughts out of your head and make sense of everything.
I hope this helps you.
Kaelan Moss - MinuteAdmin Out ✌🏽
